We all know that positive self-esteem is important. A component of having positive self-esteem is to have internal integrity. A parr of that means accepting all of your feelings without judgement. Often, the first feeling we are aware of is not the underlying feeling. That feeling is blocked out by the “accepted” or habitual feeling, so you are on autopilot. That’s what’s happens when you react to a situation in a way in which you think bad of yourself at the time, or later when you can be in the moment and think/feel clearly.
Making a practice of going within and being present to your underlying feelings can become your new habit. It can take courage to change habits, and to break some patterns of behavior (especially with family members). Yet, feeling good about your self and being in integrity is what this life is about. Not guilt, shame or anger.
So, go forward with the intention for personal integrity and see how your life changes!