Today a client and I explored one of my favorite subjects, the word “sorry.” This word is one we are taught at a young age to use when an authority figure judged you had done something “bad.” Often, at these times, you were told you were bad, and this became internalized, creating the limited belief that you were bad. This became a judgement that the ego latched onto and developed into survival skills to make the world seem to make sense. How can your parents say they love you, and then say you are bad? Your teachers tell you everyone’s great, but you did something “bad” and now have to say sorry and sit in a corner because you need to take a time out and realize how bad you were. To make sense of the inner conflict, you developed coping skills — 1) avoiding life by hiding, sneaking, drinking — 2) attacking by bullying, stepping on others to feel good, greed, envy, OCD — 3)defending by being right, prideful, non-thinking (I don’t like the word “stupid”- how many of us have been called that!)
However you choose to make sense of the world, saying “I’m sorry” immediately brings to mind a picture of a “sorry” person — one who is downtrodden, wimpy, wrong, ect. I recommend you replace the word “sorry” with “apologize.” It’s easy to replace “I’m sorry” with “I apologize.” Try it, you can internally feel the difference. One indicates a judgement you are wrong/bad, the other indicates you made a mistake without judgement of you as a person. As spirit, all the world is a school, and only learning and growth occurs, judgement is of the ego, and therefore not even real. Have fun! Please let me know your experiences!
If you need a professional counselor in Southfield, MI please call Miche Lamé at
(248) 212-0808, e-mail [email protected], or fill out the form on the contact page.